“If We Want to Reverse Global Warming We’re Going to Have to Be a Bit More Queer”

 

STEVEN TUCKER

The general consensus appears to be that this month’s COP29 climate-summit held over in Baku, Azerbaijan, was something of a damp squib right from the get-go. But why? Some point to the recent re-election of the pleasingly climate-sceptical Donald “drill, baby, drill!” Trump over in America. Some observe that perhaps it may have been sending out mixed signals holding the summit in a place whose entire economy is based upon hydrocarbons, which have been acclaimed as “a gift from God” by the nation’s President, and where gas and oil seep out of the ground so profusely that in certain areas the soil is quite literally on fire.

And, of course, yet others make another, far more plausible explanation for COP29 falling flat: there just weren’t enough queers there to make a difference.

Good COP, Bad COP

Purely for the sake of argument, let us assume the notion of looming climate apocalypse is actually true. If humanity really is imminently doomed at the hands of invisible magic gas, there can be no needless side-alleys to pursue, no major distractions allowable from the vital task at hand. So why is it, therefore, that certain obsessive gay special interest groups were determined to make COP29 all about queers, not climate?

Viewing footage of the whole sanctimony-fest on live TV news, I’m sure the one overriding observation of most enlightened viewers will have been the following: why did it look like the first image below, and not the second one?

Because of homophobia, that’s why!

As well as bulging with oil and gas, Azerbaijan is also full of proud Islamic homophobes. Thus, not a single foreign attendee was a homosexualist or a lesbianist, not even in secret – at least not according to a number of weepy-eyed, pillow-biting reports from the likes of the Climate Policy Lab (CPC) university think-tank. The CPC’s tragic anticipatory investigation ‘Being Queer at COP’, was written during this summer’s earlier Holy Gay Pride month of June by someone who had just attended a Gay Parade in Boston, “a weekend glittered with queer joy, art, dancing and activism”.

Tragically, however, the author explained that some of the rainbow revellers she may have met there, such as a prominent Red Indian eco-homo named Big Wind Carpenter (not the one from the Village People) would be unable to attend COP29, due to the fact “same-sex marriage is unrecognised there” in Azerbaijan. So what? Was he planning to go there to talk about carbon emissions or to pick up a husband? Just don’t try and marry another man while you’re out there, Big Wind, problem solved. Homosexuality is not illegal in Azerbaijan, merely widely frowned upon. And frowns never hurt anybody, did they?

According to CPC, there is a severe conflict of interest in that many of the world’s leading hydrocarbon-producing countries, where COP summits often tend to be held these days to try and address the alleged problem direct at source, also happen to be Muslim and therefore tend not to worship Alphabet People as they do in more enlightened potential Western host-cities like San Francisco, Brighton and Gay Paree – this is the exact same reason why Elton John has never yet served as Head of OPEC.

Supposedly, this means no homosexuals can ever visit such jamborees, with attendees at COP28 in Dubai sickeningly being asked to “respect the UAE’s cultural and societal values” by, for example, not parading around the summit in drag or wearing business suits made of rhinestones and studded leather. “If you looked around the venue, there weren’t any visibly gay or trans people,” the CPC bemoaned. What about Justin Trudeau?

Climate of Queer

Just like with the more extreme version of climate change itself, this catastrophist narrative just isn’t true. Homosexuals can safely attend non-Western COP summits like that in Baku. As even Wikipedia admits: “Those who are financially independent and living in Baku are able to lead a safe life as an LGBTQIA+ person, as long as they practice their homosexuality in their private sphere.”

However, as Wikipedia continues: “Although homosexual acts between consenting male adults are officially decriminalised, reports about police abuses against gays, mainly male prostitutes, have persisted.” Don’t sell sex to anyone whilst you’re at the summit, and delegates will be fine, then.

If you were gay and had to live in Azerbaijan permanently, you may indeed face various negative consequences throughout the course of your life. If you were just attending a luxury conference venue in the nation’s capital for approximately 14 days, in possession of full diplomatic accreditation from a major foreign power, and being protected from all harm by the entire assembled national security apparatus, however, then I would humbly suggest that you almost certainly will not face any meaningful acts of anti-gay violence against you whatever.

The only real requirement in morally and religiously conservative COP-venue cities like Baku is that queer conference-goers don’t parade around endlessly showing off about it, that’s all. As the CPC said, there only weren’t any “visibly” gay people in attendance. Why do they need to be “visibly” gay, anyway? Do other attendees need to be “visibly” straight?

The Global Village People

An excellent example of this particular mindset of perpetual victimhood, both paranoid and solipsistic in equal measure, can be seen in the writings of a professional fully qualified homosexual called Chad Frischmann, who is not only “Founder and CEO” of the U.S.-based climate think-tank-thing Regenerative Intelligence, but also a fascinating TED-talker and “Named Global Green Warrior”. Named so by whom?

I’m guessing Chad won’t have been at Baku 2024 himself, as last year he published a self-pitying blog lamenting that, whilst he had attended “the last eight” COP conferences held in pink-inclusive cities like Glasgow, Paris, Madrid, EuroDisney and Barbie-World, “I did not go to COP27 in Egypt and I will not go to this year’s COP28 in UAE” on account of their shared national faith of Islam. Chad felt he would be unwise to visit such backwards lands, asking himself: “Will I be safe? And will I do or say something that could put my life in danger? As a proud, openly queer person, the outcome was not certain.” This was not on, as “COPs should be a place of radical inclusion of all people – a Conference of Peoples, not ‘Parties’.” Except Muslim “Peoples”, obviously.

Why do militant homosexuals need to attend climate conferences, though? What, precisely, do they bring to the party? For one thing, says Chad, their very presence will self-evidently unite everybody there, Arab and Israeli, coloniser and colonised, straight and homo, in queer peace, love and understanding. “We can stop global warming if we just come together,” Chad explains, hopefully not meaning these words literally.

The incomparable “opportunity” of having gays in attendance at COP, Chad further continues, “broadly shines as brightly as the sun” – which will surely only make the problem of rising global temperatures all the worse. With no gays at COP, no final agreement upon how to achieve Net Zero will in any way be possible: “The only way to attain such a lofty goal will be for those of us in the climate arena to lead a global collaborative effort based on authenticity, integrity, empathy and compassion for all life on Earth — one that emphasises hope, action, and joyful experimentation.”

By “joyful experimentation” here, Chad seems to be equating the idea of creative sexual thinking in gay people’s sexual couplings with creative thinking in relation to the climate crisis:

You know who’s really good at that? LGBTQIA+ people. Since the days of Stonewall, our community has been tackling existential threats with a gusto that is entirely our own. Whether facing the AIDS epidemic, a long-running pandemic of hate crimes and institutionalised violence, or the suppression of our fundamental human rights to live and love as we want, we take a stand, speak out, Act Up, and fly our flags high.

Bedouins Love To Camp

On and on Chad dribbles like a leaky oil-valve. “We dance in the streets, fight hate with love, and welcome all who wish to be a part of our work.” Except religiously conservative Arabs and Muslims, evidently, which is rather unfortunate, as they happen to own most of the oil. Should any future COP ever happen to be held in Oman, Chad would no doubt demand the place magically become Owoman immediately.

Climate-change is “at its core, a problem of extraction and exploitation, power and consumption”, the solution being “not simply to tweak the system” like a pair of tightly clamped nipples, but instead for homosexual eco-warriors to overthrow “the white, cis, hetero, Western, capitalist, patriarchal ethos that has wrought such devastation upon our planet (and ourselves) over the last few hundred years” (by, er, massively improving all our lifespans and living standards) and replace it instead with one that is much more “heart centred”, not to mention “sensual, colourful and flamboyant”.

To truly solve climate change, we all “must live wide awake, be actively anti-racist and anti-colonial in our own thinking and speak our truths out loud and proud. In other words, if we want to reverse global warming… we’re going to have to be a little bit more queer”.

Just to remind readers, the main way in which Chad wishes to “be actively anti-racist and anti-colonial” in his own thinking is by throwing a huge camp hissy-fit and publicly lecturing foreign Muslims in how they must think, act and legislate regarding the issue of homosexuality in their own homelands.

And that’s not to mention his simultaneous queer crusade to mandate precisely how they must henceforth radically reorder their own economies away from lucrative fossil fuels and make their populations hugely poorer, purely in order to give him a big fat moral sense of smugness sitting safely away in the office of his cushy NGO-type non-job somewhere on the other side of the planet.

Living in an Eco-Chamber

A quick perusal of below-the-line reader responses to Chad’s babbling reveals such incredibly intelligent posts from fellow members of his privileged Western NGO parasite-class as these:

 

“LOVE.” That’s your actual argument here? “LOVE.” What’s that going to solve? Absolutely nothing. This particular BTL LGBT groupie appears involved in the wonderful world of ESG investing, so no doubt part of your pension funds will be winging their way Chadwards from Kayalin’s corporate bank account any day now, whether you like it or not.

As such rapturous responses suggest, rather than being persecuted for his gayness in today’s climate world, Chad is in fact endlessly pandered to on account of it, then flounces around acting as if he’s an all-time victim here nonetheless, even though he isn’t. Take his pathetic 2024 blog, ‘Queering Climate: Coming Out for Climate!’, in which he presents the following Kumbaya image as an idealised vision of what future COP summits should look like:

 

Good luck getting the Russians and the Saudis to attend that one, Chad.

GCSEs: Gays Can Solve Everything!

Activist-minded gays’ slogan used to be “Get the Government out of the business of our bedrooms!”. Now it’s “Get our bedrooms into the business of Government!” And, should governments dare to refuse, gays will just squeal “Homophobia!”, even where it is wholly non-existent.

Take Chad’s unintentionally amusing account of how, for the first time, he “spoke about being queer in a highly public setting” at the 2020 edition of the annual Global Council for Science and the Environment (GCSE). During an on-stage panel discussion about carbon emissions, Chad suddenly and uncontrollably “blurted out” that he was gay. What did the audience then do? Burn him? Behead him? Ram a stick of dynamite straight up his fundament and light the fuse? No. Far worse. Instead, “The 500 or so scientists and academic leaders in the room applauded politely.”

This would seem to suggest that most of those present there that day couldn’t give the slightest, tiniest fig about his sexual inclinations – but no! Nobody with a PhD actively ran up on stage and presented him with a special sparkly “Well Done for Being Gay” GCSE certificate, meaning that, “for the rest of the conference, I felt distinctly cut off from everyone else there, isolated and marginalised for speaking out”.

So incredibly “isolated and marginalised” was Chad that, afterwards, one young lesbian laboratory-dweller “came up to me to thank me for speaking out and asked how she could get involved more”, before “The next year, the GCSE invited me back to give a keynote on ‘Queering Climate’”. It’s hardly Garcia Lorca being executed by Franco’s fascists shoving a pistol up his posterior and then pulling the trigger, is it?

Nonetheless, as he sat back to relax following his very public coming-out talk, “Martini in hand”, Chad “began to see an opportunity arise to help elevate the voices of LGBTQIA+ people” in the climate change arena. “That was really brave,” a committed colleague in climate-queerness told him. No it wasn’t. It might have been brave to do it 1523, in front of the Spanish Inquisition, but in 2023, in a room full of woke Western scientists and NGO bottom-feeders so sycophantically rainbow-friendly (or possibly just intimidated) they actively applauded you when you needlessly and needily hijacked their conference to talk about your intense love for other men? Quite the reverse.

Queer COP Beats Truncheon

If valiant Rainbow Warriors like Chad really believed the world was going to end any minute now, then how could they possibly justify wasting everyone’s time by blathering on endlessly about their sacred gayness at COP-type summits rather than capturing CO₂ emissions?

The most common fake pseudo-justification for doing so is the laughable idea that gays somehow now have innately special brains and modes of cognition which will somehow allow them, and them alone, to solve climate change (a delusion I have discussed previously elsewhere). As Chad says, “LGBTQIA+ individuals have a long-standing tradition of pushing boundaries and challenging social norms, which is essential for [devising] innovative climate solutions [arising from] our community’s ability to think outside the box.”

But the traditional specific manner in which homosexuals have historically been found “challenging social norms” is by having sex with other men instead of with women, not by capturing carbon. So what’s he going to do, exactly? Sodomise a gas power-station to death? No, Chad has a different solution to hand.

Although he himself does “not have a traditional STEM degree”, his academic background surprisingly being “in the humanities and social sciences”, Chad nonetheless has a big gay “superpower” (his actual chosen word) – that of “the bringing together of incredibly diverse intergenerational, international, interdisciplinary people in a comfortable space to collaborate and co-create together… I could use this superpower to convene diversequeer leaders to solve the climate crisis.”

So in other words, Chad possesses the awesome, Batman-embarrassing ability to organise pointless talking-shop conferences with the words “queer” and “climate” in them and ask some miscellaneous diverse people to come along for the ride. But presumably not any devout Muslims, of course.

Do you reckon that, in a time of genuine international crisis, this is how J. Robert Oppenheimer once organised the Manhattan Project? If Chad had been using his “superpower” to make sure homosexuals, lesbians, genderqueers and black transgender pygmies were all adequately represented at Los Alamos, as opposed to a nauseatingly monocoloured convocation of mainly heterosexual white European and Jewish quantum geniuses, we’d probably still be fighting Japan today. What would Chad’s “diversequeer leaders” have built the desperate Allies back in 1945? An atomic bum?

Steven Tucker is a journalist and the author of over 10 books, the latest being Hitler’s & Stalin’s Misuse of Science: When Science Fiction Was Turned Into Science Fact by the Nazis and the Soviets (Pen & Sword/Frontline), which is out now.

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This article (“If We Want to Reverse Global Warming We’re Going to Have to Be a Bit More Queer”) was created and published by The Daily Sceptic and is republished here under “Fair Use” with attribution to the author Steven Tucker