Brexit Booster for British Space Program

Major manufacturer to sponsor British attempt to reach Moon before Elon Musk

The Britsh space effort, which last year put a chimpanzee on the Isle of Wight, has today received a massive post-Brexit shot in the arm with the news that a major manufacturer will sponsor the construction of an all-British space station, known as Missionary I on account of the fact that its orbit will be geosynchronous and thus occupy just one position.

This is great news for the country – which recently gained its independence from th

Legonauts tranform their rocket into a space station

e Belgian Empire and is now owned only by Nathan Rothschild and a consortium of no more than a hundred corporate oligarchs – and its Space Programme (known as Spexit).

The new materials will, for example, enable a rocket to be built in days, launched and then, once in orbit, disassembled by its crew (henceforth known as legonauts) and reassembled in the form of a comfy space station.

The Legfget on its launch pad at a top secret location

Space is, scientists believe, all around us, which is quite worrying. The New Scientist has described it as a large vacuum with rocks in it and the previous British approach to space exploration of pretending not to look directly at it is to be phased out in favour of the more annoying American approach of glaring at it and threatening it with invasion.

The first of the new generation of Lego rockets (the Legget) is already under construction at a secret location in or near the postcode MM4 RU7.

Search for a suitable crew for the first mission, which brings with it a fifty-fifty chance of certain death or getting killed, whichever comes sooner, is to be fully democratic. The public will vote in a referendum on whom they would like to send into space.

Opinion polls released yesterday currently have Tony Blair as the front runner. Evidently well over 60% of Brits would vote for him to be sent into space and of these only 3% would approve the costly safety precaution of supplying him with oxygen.

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About Steve Cook 2280 Articles
Director, UK Reloaded

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