Government announces ambitious new project

Operation Flying Pig is launched as it threatens to do the impossible.

by Steve Cook and Domi Cook
The government has today announced the launch of an ambitous new project that it hopes will see it connected to reality by 2030. Matt Palaver (Con, Wheedling) of the Ministry of Fabrications explained today that,

“this unprecedented undertaking embarks Her Majesty’s Government upon uncharted waters as this sort of thing has never been attempted before. But we are confident that by 2030 or some tine later this government can achieve what many people such as voters and other dissident elements have maintained is completely impossible. We can and will probably have the nation’s governance fully connected to reality or something very similar to it.”

He cautioned that just as Rome was not built in a day nor the NHS sold off overnight, this will take time to come to fruition.

This is particularly so at the moment with the COVID19 virus now known to cause heightened levels of brain atrophy in politicians  with many convinced they see millions of dead people and many more completely unable to keep accurate statisitics or stop lying.

The distance between the government and reality is thought by many experts to have reached of late an all time high or even infinity but the government and the top secret scientists who advise it scientifically using secret science are confident that it can bridge the gap.

That confidence is believed by sensible people and other enemies of democracy to be, itself, a symptom of the very malaise the government is seeking to overcome, a mental illness known as  Aversion to Reality SyndromE (ARSE).

Be that as it may, Mr Palaver was quick to lay out the government’s plans in more detail, explaining that:

“We have come up with a programme to approach the problem in stages that is as foolproof as Lockdown and we are totally confident that nothing can possibly go wrong.”

The first stage of the plan is for things to continue much as they have been for centuries, with the public quietly resentful of a government that seems a bit mad in accordance with long tradition deeply rooted in British history. Mr Palaver told The Daily Scare that:

“We call this as the ‘Cooling Off’ or ‘Long Suffering’ phase. We expect it to last no longer than several years and the government will use the time to undertake a detailed multi-billion pound research project to find out what reality is.”

The second stage involves the government firmly establishing what planet it is on. They expect to have this wrapped up by 2025.

“At that point, we will be able to embark upon Stage Three, to be achieved by 2026, in which the government will stop mucking people about. While many experts consider this to be impossible, we firmly believe we might possibly, with luck, get this DONE if we can establish that people are not cattle.”

In the fourth stage, the government will get its act together. This will be in place by 2028 at the latest and is outlined in a Green Paper entitled, “Getting our Act Together”.

And then will come stage five of what they have dubbed “Operation Flying Pig”, by then a manageable leap to a full connection with reality and the fruition of ten years of determined endeavour.


The above article is from The Daily Scare

Visit The Daily Scare for more satire


••••

The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)

••••

Comment Policy: As a privately owned web site, we reserve the right to remove comments that contain spam, advertising, vulgarity, threats of violence, racism, or personal/abusive attacks on other users. This also applies to trolling, the use of more than one alias, or just intentional mischief. Enforcement of this policy is at the discretion of this websites administrators. Repeat offenders may be blocked or permanently banned without prior warning.

••••

Disclaimer: TLB websites contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available to our readers under the provisions of “fair use” in an effort to advance a better understanding of political, health, economic and social issues. The material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving it for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material for purposes other than “fair use” you must request permission from the copyright owner.

••••

Disclaimer: The information and opinions shared are for informational purposes only including, but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material are not intended as medical advice or instruction. Nothing mentioned is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

About Steve Cook 2164 Articles
Director, UK Reloaded
Contact: Website

1 Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. My Homepage

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*