by Steve Cook
Lol!
Every now and then I go on Boris’ or Matt Hancock’s FB page (did I mention this already?) and have a go at them with scathing comments such as (in so many words):
“You are wrecking the economy over a fake epidemic that has turned out to be about as deadly as a seasonal flu! I think they should stop!”
And I often get a reply from one of their supporters that goes:
“Well I’d like to see YOU do any better!”
Brilliant! Apparently, because I personally would not make a very good Prime Minister, I have to shut up and not raise any objections whilst some devious cretins murder Britannia in her sleep!
But then I thought we could apply that stock response to all sorts of situations so as to silence irritating ingrates whingeing about acts of stupidity or wanton mayhem.
Here are some examples. If you can think of some of your own, leave a comment:
One
Survivor scrambles on to life boat, says: “The captain just ran the Titanic into an iceberg! What a twat!” Crewman at the tiller says, “I’d like to see YOU do any better.”
Two
Me (admittedly 68 years old and not very good at Soccer): “Our striker just missed the ruddy penalty! Is he worth the £100 million the club paid for him?” Answer, “Well YOU apply for his job then!”
Three
Passerby: “That drunk driver just ran over a bus queue! The bastard!” Answer, “Well YOU don’t even have a licence so what makes you think you can do any better?”
Four
“Those psychiatrists are damaging people’s brains with electric shocks! That’s just criminal assault!” Answer, “Well YOU try wiring someone’s head to the mains and see if you can do any better.”
Five
“The media is lying to us! Why can’t they tell the truth?” Answer, “So you think YOU can run the media without lying eh?”
Six
“Those globalists are trying to take over the planet and make us all their minions! Can’t they use their wealth and power to help their fellow man instead of crushing him?” Answer, “Well I’d like to see YOU trying to be a billionaire oligarch and see how you get on.”
Seven
“All those pervert friends of Epstein in high places have just opened themselves up to being blackmailed! How can we expect the planet to do well when it is run by a bunch of evil idiots?” Answer, “Well I’d like to see YOU become a high-ranking political figure with your brains in your you-know-what and do any better!”
Sorted!
Steve Cook writes for The Daily Scare
He is the World Typo Champion
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