What That Awful Boots Christmas Advert is Really About

 

STEVEN TUCKER

Have you seen the new, highly queer Boots festive TV advert? If not, please do be warned: it may masquerade as a light-hearted, well-meaning Christmas promo, but its true agenda is much more sinister. In this article, I shall demonstrate precisely how.

The first time I ever heard of Queer Studies was about 20 years ago, when a BBC Radio 4 stand-up was mocking the way some Queer Literature lecturers had neurotically reinterpreted Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein to ‘reveal’ Professor F was gay. The evil genius’s otherwise unfathomable desire to reanimate a male corpse was a subliminal expression of his repressed desire to create a boyfriend for himself, it was said; those versions of the tale where Frankenstein sews his monster/catamite together from various discarded male body-parts were really just his attempts to piece together the ultimate jig-saw male sex-partner from, say, the forearms of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the chest of Geoff Capes and the penis of John Dillinger.

The comedian didn’t think this stuff in any way dangerous, just risible. His attitude – shared by myself at home – was basically: “This is quite mental and obviously untrue, but ultimately it does no harm, and if these profs want to play their sad little Ivory Tower games together behind closed cubicle doors, then let them.”

My mind has since changed. Twenty years is a long time in the world of queerness, and as this kind of one-track thinking has spread out from within its initial incubating parent-tumour of fringe academia and metastasised throughout the entire West, the pseudo-discipline’s true hidden purpose has now become far more apparent: Queer Studies wants to give you and your civilisation cancer, figuratively speaking.

Breasts of Burden

The truly queer thing about Queer Studies is that, in its ultimate sense, it isn’t actually about homosexuality at all. I mean, obviously it is about homosexuality, hence all those worthless papers about Professor Wankenstein etc., but this is only the immediate, proximate subject of study. In the limp wrists of the genuine hardline Queer Theorist, the word ‘queer’ is actually a verb, meaning ‘to abnormalise’, ‘to mutate’, ‘to ruin or destroy’: to give normality a sort of figurative cancer.

I have written about this previously, in an article about a truly Frankensteinian sub-school of activist scholars-cum-medics who honestly think getting cancer represents a liberating opportunity for patients to explore their latent reserves of queerness. Illness stands to the normative body as gayness stands to normative sexuality, so, alongside getting their cancerous breasts removed during mastectomies, why not take this as a fine opportunity to ‘queer’ their newly-mutilated bodies even further by subsequently having full sex-change operations too? As I wrote at the time:

Homosexuals as such are only considered ‘queer’ by analogy by true activists in the field of Queerness. Heterosexuality has generally been considered by most societies throughout history to be normative: therefore, homosexuality is comparatively non-normative by contrast, and thus analogically ‘queer’. This makes it potentially politically useful to those on the far-Left who wish to deconstruct, tear down and rearrange society wholesale – most actual [ordinary] gay people are really just tools and dupes in these actually rather uncaring ideologues’ manipulative and malicious hands. … What Queer Theorists want to do is quite literally transform their own civilisation into a thoroughly sick society – under the delusional assumption that, once the allegedly unjust traditional, normative, capitalist culture we once unquestioningly enjoyed has been torn down wholesale, what will emerge will somehow be a post-Marxist utopia. … [One cancer-positive academic] approvingly cites the early Queer Theorist Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick’s description of her own fatal breast-cancer as an exciting “adventure in applied deconstruction” as it literally made her own body fall apart into incoherent mush around her, much as the Leftist philosophy of Michel Foucault-style far-Left pseudo-academic deconstructionism, which Queer Theory itself originally grew (or metastasised) out from, seeks to make Western civilisation decay into mere atoms around us all too.

Here is a table of key Western social categories that can be considered analogously ‘straight’ and ‘queer’. Note how, gradually, today’s cancer-causing Left is systematically twisting the epistemic environment so that the position of each of these categories is stealthily moving towards occupying the reverse column, with normal becoming perceived as abnormal and vice-versa:

 

Their inherited traditional cultural antibodies still being strong, the first, older generations exposed to such cancer-like ‘queering’ processes are fairly easily able to resist them: witness how few people over 40 honesty believe Eddie Izzard is a woman (apart from Mr. Izzard himself, obviously). But, gradually, as society is ‘queered’, thanks to the omnipresent influence of schools, media and politics, more and more younger people, successfully irradiated with queer brain-cancer, come to be persuaded that the abnormal/queer is in fact completely normal/straight.

The Boots on the Other Foot Now

We can see how this ‘queering’ process of societal ‘grooming’ operates by examining this year’s controversially queer Christmas season advert for Boots the Chemist, an outlet which once settled for simply selling ailing punters headache tablets and cough medicines, but now also incomprehensibly stocks items like these, besides:

Thankfully, most branches also still stock reasonably-priced tubes of Anusol too.

Boots’s 2024 Christmas ad itself features no open displays of dildos or bum-plugs, unless discreetly concealed beneath wrapping-paper, focusing instead upon beauty products like make-up and hair-curlers, but goes out of its way to be ‘inclusive’ – by systematically excluding everyone normative in favour of black race-Marxists, queers and feminists (as opposed to simply socially normal blacks, gay people and women, who just aren’t politically cancer-ridden enough).

You can watch it here, if you must, but the basic plot is as follows: Santa Claus is a big lazy fat white bastard who spends the entire holiday season lying asleep in his cosy chair, whilst his amazing black wife and her brown and queer female elf-helpers do all the work for him before he wakes up and takes every last drop of the credit, as the evil patriarchy always does. This basic idea of ‘Lazy Santa’ could easily have functioned as a perfectly harmless joke, by which no-one sensible could possibly have been genuinely offended, but the specific way the ad is done makes it self-evident it is intended as an actual serious comment on the world, dripping in intersectional Leftist sanctimony.

Mrs (surely Ms?) Claus is played not by just any old random black actress, but by Adjoa Andoh of Bridgerton fame, who has a known past of racially subverting film, theatre and TV roles for obvious political purposes. “How beauty can make you feel and how it shapes your identity is very important to me, so when Boots asked me to be a part of its festive campaign and play the vital and often under-valued role of Mrs Claus, I was thrilled,” Andoh explained about why she took the part. I’m sure she was quite happy with the fat cheque too, but I’m equally sure she genuinely was delighted to abuse the advert for agitprop purposes also.

Likewise, a disproportionate number of Mrs Claus’s girly elvettes are black or brown – especially for the North Pole, where I’m pretty sure melanin has traditionally been something of an evolutionary disadvantage. Some such ‘female’ elves are also actually male drag queens, whilst the overtly queer ‘they/them’ pronouns are used too. So, fairies as well as elves, then.

Note how many of the analogously non-normative/queer ideas from my above table are reinforced by this advert: trans over cis, female/feminist over male/patriarchy, black over white, native over foreign. The ad is selling not only beauty products, but also an entire figuratively ‘queer’ ideology. If you head to the now-mandatory ‘Aren’t Gays Fabulous!’ section of the Boots website, you will see that the firm’s PR-bots openly admit one of the key aims of their advertising output is to promote not simply their products, but their whole worldview:


They’re Dreaming Up a Black Christmas

Unsurprisingly, some non-cancerous normative viewers protested, loudly threatening to boycott Boots. Yet this response just played into the advertiser’s hands. For one thing, it easily got it tonnes more free publicity, as was surely intended. And, far more valuable, via standard far-Left Queer Studies tactics of normative inversion, it then allowed those responsible, and their queerleaders-cum-cheerleaders in the wider mainstream media, to disingenuously represent those objecting to the advert for perfectly healthy reasons to be presented as those with the sick minds here.

According to columnist Katie Edwards in the Independent, “The 1950s called: they want their racial politics back”, whilst Pink News went with the wholly unbiased headline ‘Christmas advert featuring Bridgerton star and they/them pronouns angers far-Right bigots’ like me. Is it really “far-Right” to object to being blatantly race-baited, or having transgenderism gratuitously promoted to watching toddlers at Christmas-time?

Interestingly, certain cancers and other such deadly diseases spread by fooling the body (or body politic) into thinking they’re the healthy cells while the healthy ones are the diseased cells, and so it is here. Holding normal opinions and objections to such tumourousness makes you into a cancerous Nazi ‘snowflake’ yourself, apparently, whilst the malign cancer-spreaders become disingenuously repainted as the do-gooding diversity-spreading antibodies come to give you healing woke chemo. Observe the following characteristic reaction from X-user ‘Hormona Lisa’, complete with inevitable little EU flag fluttering gaily away beside her profile photo:

Anyone normal who objects in a normal fashion is now ‘social cancerised’ as a “dim racist” rather than, say, a sentient being with eyes still able to register the blatantly obvious. Through a constant diet of such twisted gaslit reasoning, normal reactions to abnormal situations are made to appear as if they are abnormal reactions to normal situations, in the same way as some cancer cells trick the healthy body into thinking they are their biological friends. In such a cunning manner is wider civilisation cancered and queered.

Bah, Bum-Plug!

Talk about ruining Christmas. Homosexuality per se was just the limited pink tip of the wider Queer phallic spearhead. Successfully destabilising the previously accepted definitions of fundamental civilisational concepts like ‘marriage’ or ‘woman’ to mean entirely new or opposite things ultimately helps destabilise wider society as a whole, making all around us seem fungible and fluid to such an extent that the whole neo-Marxist ‘social justice’ agenda can more successfully be implemented. Each separate sub-field of privileging the non-normative listed in my table above helps reinforce all the others; that’s what intersectionality is all about.

Claims that ‘liberatory’ queer crusades like the successful 1990s/2000s campaign for gay marriage were just about equal treatment for an oppressed minority group may well have been true for many campaigners involved – numerous socially normal gays are simply gay, not queer, theirs is but a mere harmless sexual preference, not an insane and ruinous political identity – but for the real hard-core Queer Theorist it was really all just a moral-sounding false fig-leaf for enabling their queer civilisational cancer to metastasise itself further.

So, if, like my own naïve younger self laughing about stories of Gay Frankenstein on Radio 4 (you can tell I was naïve, I was still listening to Radio 4) you happen to read any future stories of mine about mad niche academic Queer Studies circle-jerks concerning Trans T-Rexes, the Society of Antiqueeries or suchlike, and are minded to think, “Eh, let them do their weird thing at limited taxpayer expense, it’s nothing to do with me”, perhaps you should reconsider: such people are, step by tiny step, deliberately giving our entire society a form of malignant rainbow-tumoured brain-cancer.

We can see this playing out across the U.K. as a whole even as we speak. Let’s stop and consider what the current far-Left Labour Government is doing for a moment: releasing criminals whilst imprisoning the innocent, raising taxes to bring in less money, preparing for war by running down our military, educating the young by making them ignorant, ensuring freedom of speech by implementing censorship, facilitating equality of treatment via blatant double standards, extending women’s rights by extending them to men too, increasing our freedom by taking it away from us, and so on, and so on, ad infinitum, in a wild political orgy of queer inversion.

Two-Tier Queer, anyone?

Steven Tucker is a journalist and the author of over 10 books, the latest being Hitler’s & Stalin’s Misuse of Science: When Science Fiction Was Turned Into Science Fact by the Nazis and the Soviets (Pen & Sword/Frontline), which is out now.

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