Scientific Breakthrough Enables Cats to Vocalise Their Thoughts

No-one will ever Regret it, Experts Predict

Scientists have developed a device that enables cats’ owners to know what they are thinking.

It is known as the Feline Universal Cognitive Unit, Mark 2 (The Fuc U 2) and will be available in pet stores here in the UK from January.

It is expected to cost around the same as a Toyota Avensis, a price millions of cat lovers will be willing to pay for the pleasure of finally knowing what their cat is really thinking.

Field trials on thousands of cats have already revealed some remarkable insights into a cat’s hitherto secret thoughts.

The three most common cat thoughts thus far revealed by the Fuc-u 2 are, in reverse order:

When asked about this latest development, a black Tom named Ringo, told this reporter, “What you humans continually fail to appreciate is . . . ” (see pages 97-332)

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