FRANK HAVILAND
Let me declare an interest from the outset: I am sad to see Angela Rayner depart the political battlefield. I like the fact that she is a real person. I admire the bounce and joie de vivre that she exudes. And quite honestly, I found the comedic prospect of her replacing Keir Starmer and answering PMQs from the despatch box irresistible.
This does not of course blind me to the reality that her appointment as Deputy Prime Minister was always little more than a bad joke – a bone tossed to the restive Left of the Labour Party, and a crude attempt to placate the Red Wall. As I wrote recently:
“Having left school at 16, pregnant and without qualifications, Angela doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that she possesses either the requisite responsibility nor intellectual rigour for the demands of high office.”
Rather than being brought down for her ideological extremism, the insane push to formalise a definition of ‘Islamophobia’ or her shameful begging of Muslims for votes in the run-up to the 2024 general election, it feels somewhat anticlimactic that in the end Rayner’s tax arrangements spelled her downfall. I imagine Ange can now empathise with the likes of Al Capone; jailed for tax evasion, when there were so many other notable contributions he made to public life.
While it’s nice to witness the occasional charade of legal probity at Westminster, anyone who does not assume politicians are invariably on the take is a fool. After all, MPs who ‘flipped’ their homes were breaking no rules, and the expenses system facilitated the practice. Which leads me to suppose there is more to Rayner’s resignation than meets the eye. Did Starmer take her out before she could take him out? Many Labour insiders seem to think so, with rumours of a months-long “get Angela” campaign rife amongst the Labour Left.
Either way, the frontbench wake left by Rayner has forced Starmer into a reset of a reset, and almost certainly the worst Cabinet reshuffle in political history. The reins of the nation were not in particularly safe hands to begin with, but when your talent pool is the political equivalent of the social rejects from a petri dish, I suppose you take what you can get!
Replacing Angela as Deputy PM (as well as Justice Secretary) is our old friend, David Lammy. While his political achievements are pretty thin on the ground, Lammy moonlights (unbeknownst to himself) as the nation’s favourite stand-up comedian. His most iconic routines involve not being able to spot the Old Bill 10-feet away, equating Brexit voters with ‘Nazis’ and ‘white supremacists’, and the belief that Papal smoke is ‘racist’.
Replacing Yvette Cooper as Home Secretary is former Justice Secretary, Mahmoud Abbas (sorry, Shabana Mahmood), whose claim to fame appears to be her anti-Israel stance and pro-Palestine protesting, which back in 2014 lead to the closure of a Sainsbury’s store in Birmingham. As Home Secretary, Mahmood has promised to ‘take a harder line on immigration’, which I assume refers to Keith Vaz supplying her with cocaine, rather than anything effective.
Cooper meanwhile, having performed such a sterling job as Home Secretary, has been relocated to the Foreign Office. Starmer clearly a devotee of the old Godfather line: “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and anything associated with Ed Balls as far away as humanly possible.”
Clearly panicked by the trifecta of woke points he has lost at Rayner’s departure (female, working-class and thick), the PM has shored up his position as best he can. Bereft of the X-factor, Starmer has gone top-heavy on the X-chromosome. This is the first time in history that three of the Great Offices of State are now held by women. But then, with Starmer quite matronly himself and Lammy no doubt ‘growing a cervix’ in the interim, why not go the whole hog and admit the Downing Street inner sanctum is now a full matriarchy?
This has little to recommend it however. Reeves, Rayner et al. are so obviously unsuitable for high office, we do need to acknowledge something: we have a woman problem in politics. And no, I don’t mean underrepresentation – I mean overrepresentation. I am not impressed by the tears (crocodile or otherwise), the use of the House of Commons as a crèche, nor the countless commentariat voices demanding we give women the benefit of the doubt.
Parliament is a serious place for serious business. At some point, female politicians are going to have to man up – and like Thatcher, give no quarter nor expect any in return. Would Boris have got away with cakegate if he’d cried while eating it? Would Gordon Brown have been viewed more sympathetically if he’d sat at the despatch box sobbing? The Iron Lady could no doubt have answered that for us: “No! No! No!”
Does Rayner’s departure signal the beginning of the end for two-tier Keir? It may just do that. Then again, there are many things which ought to have proved the end for Starmer and didn’t: Southport, Lucy Connolly, the admission that the rights of illegals trump those of the indigenous population in Epping. In the end, the Pillsbury Dullboy-in-chief may simply suffer the death of a thousand cuts; dismissing those closest to him in an increasingly desperate attempt to deflect criticism from himself.
You can however, only pass the buck so many times. Every sacking by the PM is a personal admission of culpability; a lack of judgment at the initial appointment. Reeves is as good as toast, unlikely to survive the autumn budget. And with more high-profile ‘resignations’ likely, Starmer may soon find himself the Titanic’s last survivor, attempting to reshuffle a deck of one. I can’t wait
For my money, Rayner’s resignation has brought the next general election that much closer. And Nigel Farage, as he so often does, has pounced on the opportunity. There are many reasons to be concerned ‘our Nige’ will not deliver for Britain – and we should be alert to them. But right here, right now – he’s the only senior UK politician making the right noises, and looking like a PM-in-waiting.
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This article (Will Starmer Regret Rayner’s Resignation?) was created and published by Frank Haviland and is republished here under “Fair Use”
Featured image: Getty Images
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