Starmerus Twotierus, and Other Feathered Fiends

ALEXANDER McKIBBEN

WITH year-round Mediterranean weather, palm trees swaying gently in the Orkneys and monitor lizards in Hyde Park, no one can seriously dispute that the climate emergency is happening right here and right now in the UK. With this unfolding catastrophe, UK bird watchers are increasingly reporting rarer species in their gardens. TCW’s ornithological correspondent gives us an insight into some of the more exotic feathered friends we should look out for this winter.

There can be no better image of winter than the inquisitive robin perched on the gardener’s spade handle. Despite food naturally being sparser, it is a good idea to set aside an area where you can feed birds with seeds, suet pellets and other nourishing treats. Not only will you be doing them a good turn, but with warmer winters a reality, you might see some unexpected visitors. Here are some to be on the lookout for.

Grey Booby (Starmerus Twotierus)

Usually seen around more temperate locations, this rather leaden bird has occasionally been sighted here in the UK. Easily identified by its dull plumage and lacklustre light-grey crest, this species is known colloquially as ‘the wanderer’. This name recognises the bird’s inability to stay close to its home, preferring to fly great distances seemingly for no purpose whatsoever.

Elegant in flight but somewhat flat-footed on terra firma, this bird, with its grating, monotonous and repetitive call ‘change, change’ is perhaps not top of the list for twitchers on the lookout for something special.

Please note that the Grey Booby can easily be confused with the Common Loon (Milibandus Demens). To differentiate, it is important to look for the two most distinguishing features. The Common Loon has eyes that tend to swivel easily and also has trouble eating the simplest of bird seed. Its call, used primarily to attract a mate, resembles a penguin with a cold blowing a kazoo.

Horned Screamer (Raynerus Vulgaris)

Noted for its ornamental horn, which is loosely attached and not used for fighting, this unicorn of the ornithological world is an unusual specimen. An aggressive bird which has recently been sighted within Europe – especially Ibiza.

Unusually for birds, this genus makes two nests for its home – normally within a short distance from one another. Quite why this is has perplexed observers for many years. The plumage can appear unkempt and somewhat dishevelled, but this is part of the bird’s peculiar charm. An extravagant crest of red feathers and a high-pitched, penetrating, shrill call make spotting this enchanting tourist a real treat.

Not to be confused with its cousin the Monotonous Lark (Cooperus Pixie)

Satanic Nightjar: (Blairus Horribilis)

With a penchant for hoarding glistening objects this strange creature divides opinion within the world of ornithology. Some are mesmerised by its simplistic yet distinctive song – which, in flight is an ascending burst sounding like ‘I am the messiah’, whilst others feel it is an unwanted and destructive ground-dwelling interloper which has no place on UK shores.

Secretary Bird: (Fibberus Reeves)

Certain avian species look as though they have been constructed by a committee; the Secretary Bird is one such example. A marvel of evolution, it exhibits several characteristics which confer advantages in its habitat. The most obvious feature is a striking, black, pudding-basin-style crown of head feathers which evolutionists believe developed to imply authority.

With its strutting, almost bossy gait, this unusual creature has a well-documented, elaborate and intriguing courtship ritual that necessitates the construction of an intricate, almost impenetrable web of objects designed to mask its humble status and fool potential suitors.

Its unmistakable call involves  a deep fluty whistle emitted in short, relaxed phrases, such as tough decisions, and ending each verse with a rasping black hole.

Not to be confused with the altogether different Cutthroat Finch (Backstabus Gove) now, despite some unconfirmed sightings, thought to be extinct.

Whilst some of these rare species might visit England, people in Scotland might well be rewarded spending patient time with binoculars and a flask of tea by a glimpse of a Rough-Faced Shag or Drab Seedeater.

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This article (Starmerus Twotierus, and other feathered fiends) was created and published by The Conservative Woman and is republished here under “Fair Use” with attribution to the author Alexander McKibben