Amelia, I Love You! (And Not in a Mucky Way!)

PRESTON PINK PANTHER

I have reached the age and stage of wisdom (no sniggering at the back, there) where I have realised that there is no such thing as coincidence – or at least, I have concluded that genuine, maths-only coincidences are a lot rarer than dullards would have you believe. I sense that the fabric of reality seems in some way to incorporate engineered coincidences, albeit that many/most of them are apparently inconsequential. But, you will be pleased to hear, this must be a pontificating drone for another day!

I mention this only to explain why I feel obliged to write this article. I have been wrestling, over the last couple of weeks, with a new understanding of the Cult Of The Virgin. Then suddenly, and all at once, out of the blue (or purple!, see below) – as if by coincidence, and spookily right on cue – Amelia appears! And so far, no one (except, ahem, and because of the aforementioned coincidence explanation, me!) has connected this to the Cult Of The Virgin! So here goes!

Virgins – what are they good for?

First, a brief diversion into why I’ve been thinking about virgins at all. (By virgins, to keep things clear and wholesome, I am thinking about post-adolescent young women, but devoid of any labelling about active or inactive sexuality.)

So! By the way of the human maturation process, I have noticed that I have a different response to these creatures than that which prodded me for most of my life.

A diversion within a diversion: some years (er, decades) ago, I remember debating with young(ish) gods of a similar type, talking about the young women who would drift through our place of toil and torment. Some, we considered as rightfully desirable. Others not so. We eventually worked out that there was an age line – which, we divined, was 25. Below this people were children, to be treated with a certain amount of care and responsibility. Above it, everyone was the same age. A rough and ready distinction, maybe, but a real and visceral one.

Moving on quickly to the present (clock hands whirr by, dates whiz off calendars, leaves whirlwind off trees, glaciers advance and retreat, beautiful blonde desert tyrant queens in diaphanous negligees shrivel and turn to dust in front of our very eyes) – now presented with young women who are an entire generation (and more) younger than me – I find this under-25 response thing somehow deepened and made more complex. I find myself responding with an emotion that has much admiration and appreciation in it, but nothing of desire, not even vicarious or nostalgic desire – no wish to drag such a creature into my soggy embrace, not even if I were myself 25 again.

Hm!

This got me to thinking. And then I thought: at last, after all these years, I am finally beginning to understand the Cult Of The Virgin!

There is a peculiar, selfless and indeed pure allure attached to a young woman who is calm and kind, intelligent, beautiful in one way or another, and spiritually though not sexually available. Here we also impinge on the area of courtly love, which is (I will summarise succinctly and confidently, as CS Lewis is not in the room) unselfish and willingly-restrained male devotion to an elevated feminine ideal.

As for virginity itself, as a young man I had (naturally) thought of it as being nothing but a peculiarity and, if not a curse, an encumbrance to be ditched as soon as possible, before the virgin in question could be seized and tossed into a volcano. But now, I could begin to see value in it. Not in a dully physical sense, but something oddly, not quite graspably, higher.

I saw how the cult of the Blessed Virgin Mary could make emotional and spiritual sense. I saw why the French army would follow a Joan of Arc, and not just regard her as an irksome tomboy wannabe.

Then…

Enter Amelia!

Just at this very moment of my virginal awakening, who should appear but Amelia!

I am now going to go full-fat fanboy and big-up Amelia bigtastically. Possibly far beyond her deserts, but possibly not. You can decide.

Is she the one we Fremen have been waiting for?

You, long-suffering reader, like me, have probably slouched and gurgled through a years-deep slough of despond, astonished at both the evil of the people or creatures who want to destroy us, and at the unthinking, torpid, sheep-like nature of some 80 percent of our countrymen. When will God respond, we may have asked. When will God send a leader to rally the people, to bring us together, out of our darkness, to give us a focal point, to help us come together to resist the ever-tightening net of surveillance, control, and destruction? Who will wake the sleeper? 

Nothing! Zilch! Answer came there none! 

And then…

As I just said, and as you will remember if you were paying attention – enter Amelia!

Amelia is not, perhaps, the leader we might have expected. Not a somewhat wizened but still strikingly handsome, dauntingly charismatic, mighty mountain of a man with a brain the size of a minor planetoid (ahem). No, not at all. She’s a perky, purple-haired Goff girl who is not short of opinions. And on top of that, she’s not even (traditionally) real!

For anyone reading this who doesn’t yet know, Amelia is an AI girlfriend and super-spreading viral meme created (or re-purposed, explanation coming) by a vast informal college of internet-savvy yoof (we must assume) – gamers, internet bloggers, and video-makers (or, ‘vloggers’! – see, I know everything!). Amelia sashays around in pleasing short skirts and in (zeugma alert!) wittily-nicked AI landscapes from Braveheart to Wallace & Gromit, pertly sharing her wisdom, which, basically, amounts to this: Be proud of being British, and say ‘no’ to the nonces, creeps, and criminals who have stolen our country. And, btw, Muslims – it’s not your country, it’s ours.

Amelia says the (to the Left) unsayable, with confidence and panache, and here’s the real beauty of it: her origin. Because Amelia began life as a wicked ‘far-right terrorist’ FSB-reader type in a mega-cringeworthy govt propaganda game for schools. You can find out the full story in a dozen youtube vids (some coming below) and no doubt better places too, but here’s the gist. Govt (Prevent) produced an interactive game that schoolkids had to play, where the protagonist Charlie (they/them, natch) has to learn to be submissive to govt, and NOT be drawn astray by the bolshie and wrongthinky far-right Goff girl Amelia.

But then! 

BUT THEN!!!

In a move one commentator brilliantly described as a judo-flip, our anonymous young creators picked up Amelia and made her the star, not the villain. And now she rampages through fields of govt ordure, jauntily tearing up their lies. She can be pretty forthright (‘far-Right!’). And she can sometimes be genuinely very funny. Bear in mind, of course, that she (and the vid channels discussing her) are primarily aimed at fellow yoof, and not at we solid salt-of-the-Earth fully-illuminated-Jedi FSB types. But I’d say there’s still much to enjoy.

Dig about to find some of her gems on youtube, and there are plenty on X if you’re an X-man or X-woman or, indeed, X-them, but here’s a place to start:

And the full story is here, sort of:

(Just go to the 6min point for the girl herself.)

And this is good:

And here are some geeks discussing it, and discussing MSM blowback, including mocking a wonderfully mockable MSM chubzoid:

And here’s some more:

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