He was the first to hypothesize that a misalignment of subatomic particles (photons, electrons, futons and tampons) deep within the biscuit’s chemical structure may actually be warping the space-time continuum in ways not yet fully understood.
Research thus far has verified findings by Einstein and earlier researchers that a single Hobnob, weighing less than half an ounce can cause the person who consumes it to gain three pounds in weight overnight – something that was hitherto considered impossible according to the Laws of Physics as we know them.
The above article is from The Daily Scare. Visit The Daily Scare for more satire.
Steve Cook is a novelist, columnist, satirist and many other things ending in “ist”.
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