by Steve Cook
Opinion polls released recently asked a broad cross section of the population what the country should do after Brexit. The results were for a while a closely guarded secret kept under wraps due to their controversial nature and fears that what they reveal would shock and dismay innocent people the length and breadth of Downing Street and other high crime areas.
Consequently, under the new Freedom of Disinformation Act of 2020 which places upon government the duty of sparing everybody the truth the results of the survey were destroyed in a fire that broke out in the Cabinet office fireplace last January.
As chance would have it, however, a PDF copy of the original has turned up and we can now reveal that the shock results show that the majority of Brits were in favour of applying to join the Russian Federation.
Whilst a sizable minority were in favour of the country being run by the United States and an even smaller minority favoured being run by Westminster, many felt that our options were too limited.
As one voter put it:
“We need an option that includes not being run by complete tossers.”
Outside of China, which has proven way too inscrutable for most people, the government that has shown it can run things with a fair degree of acumen is that of the Russian Federation. Unlike China it has also shown that it can do so without killing too many people, a feat generally considered impossible by governments the world over since the time of the Pharaohs.
Most people have come to the conclusion that choosing a government manned by people who cannot even run their own parties or personal lives in an orderly manner and have a weak grasp of economics (and indeed reality) is probably not a good idea. They feel, therefore, that joining the Federation would be our best option at this time.
This new political movement that favours Britain joining Russia is known as Brussov and will be the subject of a referendum as soon as the government (anxious not to repeat the mistake of the Cameron government) is sure it will get the result it wants. It will therefore wait until the country is doing well and dissatisfaction with being mucked about is at a low ebb before holding the referendum. Experts confidently predict this will probably not occur before the planet is invaded by space aliens.
A close examination reveals that swapping the Union for the Federation has several things to recommend it:
The Federation has emerged from mismanaged chaos into well managed prosperity (as opposed to the EU and US, which have progressed steadily from prosperity into mismanaged chaos).
Since it divorced from the central banking scam, Russia has become solvent (a feat hitherto also considered by experts such as Western governments to be impossible) and its people and businesses enjoy low debt/tax levels.
Vladimir Putin, a Judo Black Belt, is really hard and could trounce Johnson and Trump in a fight with one hand tied behind his back. He can also ride bears, which is a skill few of our Western politicians can claim (see pics).
Vladimir Putin was not educated at Eaton and also has a chin.
He has proven time and again able to manage his own hair, unlike – for instance – Johnson, who does not evidently own a comb or know a good barber.
Vladimir Putin does not look demented, as opposed to Johnson etc etc. . .
The above article is from The Daily Scare, One step ahead of the fact checkers since 2014
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Oh and I forgot to add that this incredible virus can also eliminate flu!
The CCP Covid virus is truly amazing. Not only can you have it and not know it, you can be tested for it if you have no symptoms and find out that you have it! This amazing virus has a vaccine which does not stop you getting the virus or passing it on. And as you may not know if you have it, you could pass it on to someone who has also been vaccinated, and they might not know it either! It is a virus where you can die WITH it as opposed to FROM it, and it is so big that it cannot pass through cotton or paper weave on face masks.